Interview with Elaine Mallon, Author of "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual"
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| Elaine Mallon |
What's the story behind your new book, "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual"?
It came from my own personal heartbreak of losing my mother suddenly and unexpectedly. I was devastated, and like so many who lose their mother, completely unprepared for how life-changing and painful processing her death would be. The first raw words I spoke after it happened were "Where's the manual? I don't know how to do this."
I ultimately wrote the book I needed when my own mom died, hoping it will help others.
What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
It's wonderful to hear the overwhelmingly positive feedback from within the grief recovery community. To know my book is having a positive impact on people as they are going through such a heart-wrenching time, and that it is bringing them some peace and comfort is deeply gratifying.
Who did you write this book for?
First, it's for anyone who might be feeling confused, misunderstood or alone after losing their mother. I saw a need for a book like "What To Expect When Your Expecting," but for grief.
It's also a “how to comfort manual” for those supporting a loved one through this life-altering event, and makes a thoughtful gift to someone in mourning when you're own words fail.
People in grief often say people who have experienced this kind of pain are the best sources of comfort. Is that true?
That's what I found. People who lose their mothers, especially those who were close to them, are in a club only they understand. They are among the few who can truly know what it does to a person.
They seem to be more patient, compassionate, insightful, and understanding when offering support and guidance. It's a great comfort to talk to someone who "gets it."
This book offers direction for supporters, explaining what a grieving person is going through and how to be most helpful to them. You saw a need for this today?
Absolutely. We live in a culture that doesn’t really teach about the true scope of grief, especially how deeply the loss of a mother affects a person. Most of us are unprepared when it happens to us and unprepared for how to help another if we haven't experienced this kind of loss ourselves. That can leave the person in grief feeling very isolated and misunderstood.
The book dispels many myths and misunderstanding surrounding grief. It also provides guidance, comfort and hope. What do you want supporters to know?
The subject of grief can make people very uncomfortable. They might feel awkward or unsure about how to help. Our natural response is to want to stop a grieving person's pain, but grief isn’t something that can be fixed. It’s something that must be processed. There are ways to help, while allowing the natural process to unfold.
For readers going through a loss of their mother, what would you like to tell them?
Try to remember three things:
1. You’ll never “get over" a loss like this, but you will survive it.
2. Ultimately, you heal through grief, not from it. You walk through it.
3. If you’re grieving, you’re healing -- and you're not alone.
What if a support can't relate to their loved ones pain?
You don’t need to fully understand or relate to another person’s pain to be a part of their healing. It only takes a desire to help. By simply learning about the process and knowing what to do and what not to do, you can better comfort someone you care about.
How did you create the cover design?
I envisioned a cover that was soothing to look at and also gave a nod to the fact that grief is like the ocean. It comes in waves; it ebbs and flows. The book is about navigating these waves, and provides emotional peace and comfort. I wanted the cover to send that visual message.
You also established an online grief support group that aligns with the book?
Yes, "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother -- Grief Support" is a closed group & sacred space that offers comfort and community following a mother's death. As a community, we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
Much of what is written in this book comes from talking to hundreds of people who have lost their mothers; people from all over the world and from all different backgrounds. Despite our diversity, I saw the experience of losing your mother is universal. Together, we don't feel so alone in our grief.
*"Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual" is available at Amazon.com (paperback and Kindle editions), and online with Barnes & Noble, the Apple Store (eBook) and other major online retailers. The book is also listed with IngramSpark, the largest worldwide distributor of print books to major retail chains, independent bookstores, schools and libraries.
For more information, please visit:
http://www.HealingAfterTheLossOfYourMother.com
*"Healing
After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual" is available
at Amazon.com (paperback and Kindle editions), and online with Barnes &
Nobel, the Apple Store (eBook) and other major online retailers. The book is
also listed with IngramSpark,
the largest worldwide distributor of print books to major retail chains, independent
bookstores, schools and libraries.
Published 2019-01-14.
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